Saturday, December 23, 2006
Neofundamentalism
Even Santa Claus is a terrorist. He has radical long hair and a full beard and wears a strange cap on his head. He has a shop near the north pole, deep in International territory where he runs a "toy factory" manned by elves. From his secret base, he flies in radar evading flights to many major cities in the world and climbs into people's chimneys to deliver gifts and holiday cheer. And he has you believe he does this in exchange for cookies and milk.
As you can see, he's global citizen, resourceful and meticulous, skilled with technology and with the patience to wait years for the opportunity to attack. If you are bad, he quits delivering presents and brings a lump of coal as a gentle warning of his power. Just think about it. He operates in a globalised world in which borders and distance offer little protection to potential victims. Santa Claus's goal is ultimately to establish a caliphate - a superstate uniting all lands that implement his ultimate "wish" - Peace on Earth.
Which is more mythical, the guy in the sky or the dolls in the dirt. In devotion determined by dollars, the fat white man's got it all over the swarthy kid. Only Thanksgiving tops it for hypocracy.
