Layla Anwar, An Arab Woman Blues


November 16, 2008

There is no Title to this post. I will let you make your own.

I am in a very strange kind of mood. I am listening to Tracy Chapman. I like that singer a lot. There is something very genuine about her. I guess she represents 1% of the American population. A 1% hope.

If I were a gambler, I would say that the odds are not in my favor. Not with a 1% for sure.

I still can't shake off that strange feeling off my shoulders...It must have been that interview with that young Afghani girl, who found her foot in tiny pieces whilst she was with other women in a garden, celebrating something. She said " I saw my foot lying next to me in pieces. My cousin was also laying dead right next to me...They (the Americans) saw that we were only a group of women, and they attacked us nonetheless. The Americans are animals. "

Notice she did not say the American soldiers or the American Pentagon, or the American army or the American administration or the American government, or the American neocons -- are animals. She said Americans are animals.

Yep, that is what she said - Americans are animals.

I don't blame her one bit. I would only add that animals are too kind compared to the Americans. And I would not forget to include the British either.

I receive many emails. A lot of them are pure crap. A lot of them preach to me about love and forgiveness. A lot of them are blaming the victim. A lot of them dictate to the victim what words, what feelings, what thoughts she must or must not have. A lot of them talk about the victim being an angry bitter hateful thing. But none of them, NONE of them acknowledge FULL responsibility. None.

This for me is the height of arrogance. The epitome of immorality. The ultimate lack of any form of ethics. This for me is a sign of a doomed, decadent, degenerate, intellectually, socially, politically, morally putrefied nations - called America and "great" Britain.

You know, I know quite a lot about your culture, your line of reasoning, the way you process your thoughts, the way you interact...I know YOU. I know you inside out, and I can understand that you hate that so much.

I have heard so many of you talk, debate, argue, express, think and rationalize...

When it comes to you, you are very meticulous about what your rights are. You are very articulate about your needs, wants and desires. You are very fastidious about what you believe is right and wrong. You demand to be heard. You request an audition. You press for answers. You seek solutions for you. You, you, you...

And above all you whine that you need to have it all VALIDATED.

And boy do you go on a roll by stating so affirmatively - My feelings are important. What I think is crucial. Hey I have rights here. I am an individual. This is not on. This is not acceptable. I will not tolerate that. This is wrong. This is...

You do that don't you ? Yes you do.

Because you think you matter so much. You think your life is so precious and you want to make the best out of it. You believe that you are entitled to some form of Justice. You will go to any length to get what is your due. From tribunals, to courts, to the police, to whatever authority you can lay your hands on.

Your issue can be small or big, it does not matter. You are entitled. It is my right you say to yourself.

You do that. I know you do. I KNOW YOU DO.

You are such a special individual aren't you ? So "charitable" when you need to be and so hard and pressing when necessary. You have your boundaries and limits. You have sign posts all over the place saying "don't trespass"...You are so civilized and so evolved compared to others, "lesser ones."

"Lesser ones" that you take to as objects of curiosity because you want to learn how the other thinks and feels. As long as the other does not trespass the limits you have imposed on him. As long as the other does not tell your truth to your face. As long as the other does not resist you and your ways.

Should the other dare to voice or complain, your dirty fingers are quick to point in his direction and your smelly moralistic tones are elevated.

You go and dig in your repertoire of do's and dont's, what is acceptable, what is not and you are shocked beyond belief that the other is not grateful to you.

You want someone in your own image. In fact you are the most fake hypocritical nations and peoples I have ever come across. And trust me, I have been around.

You can hate and oppress with impunity. You can brutalize, rape and torture with impunity. You can destroy and kill with impunity. You can ravage and ruin lives, millions of lives with impunity. You can contaminate generations to come with your acts...But you don't stop to think of your deeds. Yet you are so quick to point at the victims, at the receptacles of your own hatred, of your own injustice...

You are so good at doing that, but not with me. Not with me you motherfuckers. I know You so well. So damn well. And I know You hate it so much. And the more You hate it, the better I feel, because You are exposed to me.

You are naked in front of me. Totally naked. You stand naked with your thoughts and your deeds. Your collective thoughts and deeds. Your arrogance is there, your denial is there, your hatred is there, your crimes are there. You can't hide them from Me just as you could not hide them from this young Afghani girl. You can't hide them from the millions of Iraqis and Afghanis whose lives you have totally destroyed. TOTALLY DESTROYED.

But you want someone to validate your feelings ? Fuck you bastards. You will not get any validation from me.

You want to build bridges of understanding and forgiveness ? Fine, assholes.

Repair all the damage and bring back the innocent dead ones. Give us back our limbs, our eyes, our hands, our feet, our loved ones, our homes, our lives... Give them back WHOLE the way you took them and then we can talk about forgiveness and love.

But you can't. You will never be able to. You are only good at destroying. You are only good at wiping out what you can't have, can't possess or can't own.

No, you are not animals, you are less than animals. And if the title is not suitable for you, choose your own.


Book Art : Iraqi artist, Mohammed Al Shammarei - The Key of Baghdad.